Another puny evening wasted in pursuit of some ridiculous goal. Three explanations are possible for my abject failure: first, she was teasing me. I've seen people do it, I guess. Second, she liked me at first, but grew tired of me as the night went on. Third, I misunderstood the whole thing, and she was there with her... her date, or whatever you want to call it.
It's so weird, that feeling of when you're out with your girlfriend and some guy starts hitting on her, and your first impulse is to get ashamed or embarrassed, instead of trying to make your presence known. It's tied to insecurity, but not in the way most people would think.
You see, most people would think that I'm insecure towards the guy. He's assertive, I'm not, he's confident, and I'm not, etc. But the truth is, is I'm insecure toward my date. What if she likes him better than me? Would it be chauvinistic of me to intervene? She can handle herself, can't she? And then there's that old truth, that the tighter you try to keep people, the harder they'll strain against you. Some weird tough-guy maxims start creeping into your head about 'looking like you don't care' and 'playing it cool'.
Fuck it. At least there's one thing about being in a relationship I don't miss.
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